Hello,
Welcome to the first entry of That’s Mind. Let me begin by asking you a personal question. Can you please recall the last time you felt sure of yourself as a person? A time when you without a doubt knew you were undeniably alive. No suppressed anxieties, all basic securities met, and no stain of inhibition in your character. I implore you to evoke real emotion to answer this question. Not for my sake, but for your own. Be honest with yourself and revisit every memory of happiness, devastation, ego, and love that you have convinced yourself of. Are you afraid to look inward? Can you stand in front of what stares back at you from the depths of your psyche? Now. I will share my answer with you.
No, I cannot. My entire life subsists in a universe of self-doubt and agonizing monotony. Loops of the same issues reinstating themselves in my mental code like viral plagues. My mind is a Master of detrimental repetition. Revered as one of the most efficient self-assassins to ever believe in its own existence. Only what-ifs can frame the fragments which perceive themselves as Dan.
Quite a first impression for me to make on you. But certainly, a necessary one.
Now. Roam with me. Wander deeper into what I or you mean. Poke around up there and conclude a definitive essence of yourself. Go on. Can you, do it? If you can, please for the love of all things holy, share it with me. Are you a name? A father or mother? A job title? A God? Truth be told I don’t accept anyone can really be what they believe themselves to be until they shatter the plateau of ego death. And ironically, once said plateau is dissolved, only an empty infinity remains.
Humor me. Construct an imaginary jar in your mind. It is translucent all around and is sealed by a singular lid. The lid has been tightly rotated around the lips of the jar and contains the most extravagant specimen of fool’s gold ever discovered. Still with me? Good. Imagine the jar itself is your life. The fool’s gold is you, and the lid is the seal of what you ascertained so confidently to be the limit of existence.
Take the lid off. Throw it away, alongside the fool’s gold. Now all you have left is a measly, clear jar. But wait. Is it sincerely measly, or is it inexhaustibly infinite? Have you just totally mutilated a life, or eternally liberated it? Only you can answer that question. The real you.
So, this is my point. I once assured myself that unwavering positivity, hope, and indomitable spirit were the pinnacle insurance policy of an amazing reality. But the truth is, it’s all a lie. I truly am a fool who asserts himself to be gold. But I am working on removing my personal lid. So that I may one day be privileged enough to encounter transcendence. To be a disciple of infinity.
With all the good, must come all the bad. If not for a delicate, harmonious duet between the two, how would life achieve any sort of equilibrium? Therefore, I shackle my spirit to pessimistic ideologies, to prepare for the ascension to infinity. Confronting the negativity of my being is my passage to emptying the fool inside my vessel. It isn’t easy to wrestle with such thoughts in a life that is constantly pressuring you to be “happy” each moment you start to display signs of struggle. Adversity is an efficient king. He is a ruthless warrior, with experience beyond conventional understanding. His actions may be cold but are most undoubtedly calculated to best serve his people.
Pursue the struggle, my friends and family. And remember to always be kind to yourself. No amount of inner suffering should be allowed to tip your scales in one direction.
Infinite life to you all. Godspeed.
Dan
I hear you Daniel and I feel what you say. I believe there is a Holy Spirit that guided us on a daily basis Yes , our lives are also like an empty jar and that jar is filled with whatever you put into it. As we grow with age and wisdom , we can empty that jar are refill it with new hopes and dreams. That’s the beauty of it . It’s like sand art. You keep adding different shades and colors to get the right patterns and hopefully the perfect picture In the jar one day. The reality is it’s a dream , but dreams keep us going. As I’ve grown older I’ve learned life passes by quickly and taking time to do the little things with love ones, making time to take a break and get away from a busy schedule to spend time with another or even yourself to get a breather from the every day hectic life can be relieving. Live life to the fullest and don’t put off doing things you want to do.
As a baby I was nurtured, cared for & fed. As a toddler I was taught, discipline, had guidance, potty trained, able to feed myself, active in fine motor, gross motor & absorbed so much knowledge like a sponge. As a child our minds are like computers & our parents, guardians, or any adult figure in our lives is inputting information from their beliefs, theirs rules, their experience’s, continued guidance, their love & affection. As a teenager I realized I had a voice but it would get me in trouble. I also was a protector for my brothers. I was a leader not a follower. As an adult I experienced heart ached, deep pain, & anxiety. Fast forward to 2018, I felt his presence, tears rolling down my face I’m so emotional. I needed God in my life more then ever. When Covid hit there were so many uncertainties, I was depressed & my husband wanted to get me help. I softly spoked said all I needed was Gods help. Today I am standing tall along side with my best friend who is my amazing husband, two beautiful daughters & our furry babies. I believe strongly to surround yourself with encouraging, uplifting & positive loving souls . I truly love with all my heart ♥️ Daniel, I am full of gratitude 🙏🏼 you are so extraordinary & inspiring thank you for this platform🥰