Hello,
I find myself here again.
Here in the dark screens of my failed website, where I occasionally upload new artwork for no one to see. I’m no longer in my previous relationship. That thing I called “baby” bled me dry and swiftly fled back to its lair to await the next poor soul. So here we are. Amy Winehouse has a song called “Back to black” that is all too familiar to me now. What a wonderful place to call home once again. I don’t have the energy to sit here and organize my thoughts into elegant words like I did last year. I just need to get this out of my head. I’ve been dealing with quite a few personal issues lately. Vices, familial problems, career troubles, financial struggles, you name it.
I’m there.
I do have to mention there is at least one shining light in my life at the moment, but that flicker is far too young for me to discuss here in this medium. So I continue the struggle against life in the hopes that my presence will hold some type of weight in the the lives of others. But it’s very hard to keep tracking through the mud. These are honest thoughts I’m sure everyone wrestles with, but I just wish they’d relent for a brief respite. Though we all know those wishes rarely weigh upon god’s heart. His will surely is greater than mine. At least I like to hope so.
Hope is a funny word. I always thought of it more as a name than a beacon of future optimism. More like a false objective, preached to the masses as some sick form of propaganda. But that’s enough of me for today. My mind is tired and I need rest.
If anything, what I’d like to become most right now is a slipping sensation. That knife to the heart, piercing you right before a mistake is committed. I am the thrill that persists.
Truly a nobody.
